Silence

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The walls around my heart

surround a place never seen.

They drift like icebergs

in the oceans of my mind.

I sit by my window,

a tiny shadow without name.

In the darkness I wait,

playing Solitaire with my loneliness.

The hours begin to drip,

forming droplets on the window’s glass,

running down

and settling in pools at my feet.

Your silence,

the lashes of a whip,

has become a map on my skin.

Lines carved on my back and wrists.

My unsent letters lie crumpled on the floor.

Paper dogs producing offspring,

little paper mongrels

nipping at my heels.

The walls around my heart

have become walls around me,

staring with faces unseen

and mouths that do not speak.

I float around

in the oceans of my mind.

My heart is now a stone

to drown me with its weight.

Silence is not silent.

It leans across the table,

it screams in my face

like a Banshee.

Sadness is not sad.

It flies in through the window,

under darkness’ tender blanket

like a raven.

It is I –

held by Sadness, gagged by Silence,

standing by the window –

mouth saying nothing, eyes seeing nought.

Depression/SAD

I felt I had to say something on the subject.

There are so many people suffering from this as well as related issues. It’s become a huge problem. The worst is the loneliness. Those who don’t suffer from it often find it difficult to understand what it’s like to have to live through this, so we feel alone, even though we’re surrounded by people.

I’ve just suffered a relapse during the turning of the season: no energy, suddenly eating like a crazed lunatic, no inspiration and no interest in anything, crying incessantly for no apparent reason, doubt, self-doubt, fear… The list is endless. I have the ADHD/OCD thing too, urgh!

So I wrote this poem, because the first prompt I got just as my health started to improve, was ‘Silence’. If you’re a sufferer, just remember that you’re not alone!

I’ve made it my mission to fight this condition with all I’ve got. This led me to find out more about improving my lifestyle. Still learning everyday, but it really helps a lot! 

PS. I would love to hear from you! Feel free to share your story.